The idea of Gottman's Love Lab (Blink , p. 20) is alternately intriguing and terrifying to me. Do you think Gottman's "thin-slicing" takes into account that someone could just be having a bad day in the lab, or that maybe the chosen topic just hit a nerve for the moment? While reading I kept wondering what people would do with the information that their marriage was in trouble.
One of my friends has a doctorate in Marriage and Family Science and she related that Gottman is considered the leading authority on marriage science. His studies are used world-wide in the industry. She also said that couples are not told the result of the analysis of Love Lab. Phew!
Still, would you subject your marriage to Gottman's analysis? Would you want to know the results?
If I took the test I'd want to know the results. For that reason, I'm not sure I'd do it in the first place? Never ask a question you don't really want to know the answer to. (And yet I would say I'm extremely confident in the state and strength of my marriage. But still... no, wouldn't do it. How 'bout you guys?)
ReplyDeleteI thought the "love labs" were really interesting. After I read that section I was hyper aware of everything I said to my husband and wondering what it would mean under analysis. Actually, after I finished the chapter and saw two different doctors I was suspicious that they read the book and were giving me more time to decrease their chances of being sued.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely participate in the lab and I would want the results. Do you think that the couples who were predicted to divorce would have benefitted from knowing the results? Do you think they would have changed knowing what would happen if they didn't improve their relationship?
We need a tie breaker.
ReplyDeleteI feel confident about the state of my marriage, too, but I would not do the lab. Kelly, I am in awe that you would be willing! That's impressive. And I think your question about whether or not couples would change would warrant a whole 'nother study. I know that I certainly would make changes if I heard bad news, but then again, our religious training gives us a pretty serious sense of commitment in marriage. So commitment to marriage would be a variable in marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is going to really love this book because he works in an actuarial group and the case studies in Blink are just so interesting.